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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in atra_tenebrae's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
10:43 pm
Here I am...

Sorry I've been gone...Again... I post on myspace more nowadays, I'm not sure why, all my friends are here >.<;

Anyhow, here's the downlow! Warning: Pic overload.

The WeddingCollapse )

The BirthCollapse )

There you go! More soon, I hope!

Current Mood: busy
Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
5:27 pm
Sorry for being gone, mainly updating my myspace journal more than anything, but I'll try to come back, I promise... Here's a recap.

Facing DeathCollapse )

Pregnant!!Collapse )

Life DramaCollapse )

Well, hope everyone has been doing well, again, sorry I've been missing out! <3 you all!
Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
10:28 am
So, one of my all time favorite book series, 'His Dark Materials', featuring 'The Golden Compass', 'The Subtle Knife', and 'The Amber Spyglass', by Philip Pullman, his becoming a movie!!! It looks SO AMAZING! I'm completely flipping out! I only don't like how the girl Lyra looks, hair is too femme, she was a tomboy, not so girly! I hope they have her mom's evil monkey...

Ah, so much love.... 'I have a contract with the child', gotta love warrior polar bears.

Now, for more nerdom, some crazy videos.

Current Mood: anxious
Monday, May 21st, 2007
10:58 am
Prom, Romance, and Booty Dancin'! O.o
So Prom was Saturday! I looked really awesome, with my 'Hot Librarian' Corset and double slitted skirt (which I made out of a dress at goodwill!). I had hot 6-inch heels, laced gloves, and a hairdo that took me TWO HOURS. My hair doesn't like being tamed.

Perky got an awesome Mafia style suit for uber cheap. He was so handsome and sweet the whole night. I'll make it brief. We didn't stay at the Prom long, all they played was booty rap and well...I CAN dance to it, but it's the wanting to part. Cassy was in a Pimp suit and got a pic with her (and so did some random guys who kept asking us for pictures...WEIRD! I had a feeling they were going to go home and photoshop us in with em...)

Some PicsCollapse )

We left and just took a stroll down the candle lit sidewalk. It was romantic. Awesome dinner, then home were we danced to random music (mainly APC, cause it's all the dreamcast would play).

It was odd, when we were just dancing at home, foreheads touching, I fell in love with him again. He can be the most amazing person in the world. We've had some trouble, but we have an amazing love and passion for each other neither of us could ever let go of. I'd even pick him over Johnney Depp, or Alan Rickman. He's my other half... I don't care how we'll deteriorate physically, I'd just be happy to be with him, being our crazy old selves.

Sorry, got all mushy ^-^.

I'll have more pics after we develop the camera.

Current Mood: Love
Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
9:55 am
My Brother-in-law the hero.
So, my brother in law has stopped a store robbery and saved a poor old lady and her purse from a runaway crack head. All in a single month. The detective asked him if he was tired of being a vigilante. He's even getting a citizenship award...but no redemption on his court fines XD.

I'm jealous and amused at the same time. I wished more crime happened in front of me so I could stop it...But then again asking for that may be the wrong thing to do ^-^;

Eh, depressing day, see my former post and you'll understand.
9:32 am
Never Days
Happy Birthday Dad.

Current Mood: depressed
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
9:42 am
Alan Love
So, in my perversion for Rickman, and looking through his works I discovered this-



I wish I could find it for download somewhere.....

P.S.- It's from the movie 'Help! I'm a Fish!'
8:50 am
A Grand Adventure
For those of you who don't go on myspace, I'm leaving.

Perky and I are putting all our things in storage late June, and setting off for the road. We'll be making 1,500 a week delivering phone books around the U.S. and maybe Canada. We plan on buying a laptop and all, so I'll be able to post from the hotels around. Also getting a cell because I have to keep up with the family antics.

During our trip I'm going to work more actively in protests and so on. Also going to finish one of my novels before this time next year (not really that hard, I'm a writing machine). I've got publishers and stuff wanting me, but I'm going to be independent about it and have my aunt publish it (she has a printing press, and love for me).

The downsides? Well, being away from friends and family of course, but also I'll be setting aside college for now. Me and Perky will be starting our own family in a couple years and we want to spread our wings a little before we're forced to settle down. I AM going to college, I still have my scholarships and aid in queue until I, personally, make over 40,000 a year, so I'm pretty set.

If anyone wants to hang out before I go PLEASE e-mail me (ravyn_arashi@yahoo.com). I'll give you my number and we can set up something. I'll be back in town now and then for a couple weeks, and certain conventions. For my out of state friends, I might be passing through, so keep checking in!

PS- My location status will actually be interesting now! Yay!

Current Mood: chipper
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
5:11 pm
In Need of Privacy
Wow, I'm about to make my journal private. I'm imperfect, stubborn, and a born leader (which makes me ever so bossy and overbearing sometimes). Yet still, I never jump on someones case before knowing a few facts. Stranger saying I'm stupid for breeding dogs, when I was TEN. Please, go read my reply...You'll understand.

I wonder if he ever checked my age. Doubt it, stupid random people preaching on here without any info. Someone like that should have better things to do. I was in chat rooms and all sorts of places informing Californians yesterday and last night. Not on someones blog yelling at them >.>

Hehe, of course I'm here complaining so I'm not horribly much better ^-^;

Still, the GALL!

EDIT- Also, wanted to mention I'm going to adopt another wolf, since my old one died. She was 6 though, so no huge complaints...

Anyway, here's the site I might go through. You should do the same, doesn't cost much. http://www.white-wolf-sanctuary.com/sponsor/sponsor.html

Current Mood: blah
Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
11:21 am
Anger and Determination
So, I've always been a feminist and environmentalist. These days I just get angrier and angrier.

First, I hear about shuri law becoming more popular because people are afraid of terrorists getting mad at them for not conforming to their beliefs. For anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's basically the practice of treating a woman like shit. Can't talk to other men, no choices, having to wear a fucking veil all the time, and the man of the house being allowed to beat her whenever he likes. I'd be dead in a day if this went into effect here.

Now they're attacking the welfare of animals. Alaska is still doing aerial shooting of wolves and it was just passed to kill over 70% of wolves in Idaho. The Yellowstone wolves are next in line for slaughter. All because people can't put decent fences around their goddamned cattle. Sorry life isn't worth a couple hundred bucks.

Bush is also trying to legalize ivory trade. The elephants are already starting to attack village because of the brutal slaughter they have to face. I don't blame nature an ounce for retaliating against humans.

Even our pets aren't safe. Because of stupid, misinformed people who think breed is everything, Bitbulls are about to be banned in California. Every one of them put down. Yeah, they were bred to be bullfighters, and later used in pit fights, but the aggression is there if you feed it. Show the animal some love and kindness and it will do the same to you! My family rescued a female pit who had just been torn up in a fighting ring. With some love, she recovered and was one of the best dogs we ever had. She was nice to strangers, and kids, though a little jittery around men. She had seven litters of puppies, all just as good. Even some blue-nosed, the most aggressive. So don't spill this bullshit about how dangerous they are. It's people that made them that way!

So I propose THIS to Congress. Why don't we ban stupid people? The close minded bastards that have us constantly pured into selfish, egotistical laws. Let's euthinize them! Sell their teeth on the market! Skin them and made nice people-skin rugs. I'm for it.

Now, I know a lot of you people out there want to leave America. Home land, unhappy with things, but fuck you. Seriously. I thought about it, but half of me is Native to here, and the other half fled a bad country to get here. I'll be damned if the prosperity born of their blood and tears doesn't have some fruition! Flee, if you want to be a coward. We need the strong to help change things and you'd only pull us down anyway. I can understand some of you leaving, but I'm staying.

One person can make a difference. I'll be a martyr someday if I have to.

Current Mood: Bold
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
9:26 am
Corsets and Pirates, Yo Ho!

New trailer, much <3 of the Pirate nature. Of course I've always been Pro-Pirate and Anti-Ninja.

Got a pretty corset for prom, I'll take pics later.

After about a week of bickering and fighting, me and Perky are actually much happier than we were before. It's good to get all the silly stuff of your chest. We've started savings for the wedding, and after the summer I'm going to start getting addresses and invitations together so I'm not tempted to overly procrastinate.

Well, that's all for now really. Love you all.

Current Mood: okay
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
8:20 am
No Prom....
'Sure Joanna, you can wear my old prom dress'

And, disregarding the fact I'm more muscular, fatter, and large chested than her, she swore it would fit...

Then yelled at me not to rip it when I tried it on...

Yeah, bitch. It's not like I'm obese. It would have fit if my breasts weren't two sizes too large for the corset. It's sad she had to do that to make herself feel better because I'm more successful than her...

So now I can't go to prom and I'm SEVERELY depressed. Perky went with two of his ex's (they wore the same dress, creepy, eh? I borrowed one exactly like it from my sister's friend years ago) and I wont even get one of those pretty pictures. I know it's silly, but it's one of those little things that I just really REALLY wanted. If I had the time I'd make a dress (even out of ducttape, I'm a mastermind), but I have the resources.

Why does everything have to give me so much trouble.

Tomorrow it will be a year since Pepper died... I don't think my hormonal outburst will stop by then.

Current Mood: depressed
Monday, March 26th, 2007
11:03 am
Diets, and the failure of them.
So I'd started a diet about a month ago. It was pretty strict, and I'd hoped to lose about 15lb, since I have some extra weight and would really like to be fit. Well, instead I gained ten... I mean, I worked out, ate low calories, and so on...But instead of getting rid of fat, my body stored more! I exercised and all that (which did nothing but make me have body-builder calves and hardcore muscles UNDER my fat). My doctor said it just happens to women, especially ones on the kind of hormones I'm on. He told me just to relax, and eat whatever I want in healthy moderation.

Nice, huh? Not really, I was hoping to get rid of it, but it probably wont be gone til I get rid of my womanly organs. Well, at least I'm really REALLY strong and my fat is just in my ass and slight stomach. I can't workout my abs very well because of my spine, but it's catching up with the rest slowly.

Enough about that, in other news...

It's been 13 years yesterday since grandpa died...I miss him, even if I was young he was one of the few father figures in my life. Pepper's 1 yr will be Thursday, so I'm kind of depressed. Potter Puppet Pals updated. A friend of Perky's professed his liking of me, and things are a little awkward (mainly because I told Perky, we don't keep secrets). Two other's I know like me, but they don't act on it, so it's okay. I feel sorry for them, they're desperate and nerdy, with no cool, unwhorish females around to tend to. I told them to bring me friends, preferably ones that are female. You never know with them...

I'm done, and tired.

Current Mood: bored
Friday, March 9th, 2007
11:24 am
Nothing spectacular happened, but Perky scared the shit out of me when he fell asleep and picked me up late from work. I've been sick lately, and everyone's teasing me about being pregnant. WHo knows? Doubt it though.

I've been thinking a lot about the group of people I call friends. I only have one I can honestly call that anymore (besides Perky, of course). Even she lives 15 hours away and grows further and further away from me. My gamer friends are really more Perky's friends than mine, except for maybe Donnie, Bryce, and Jaye. But they're even distant because they're not used to being close friends with a girl, and don't want Perky thinking the wrong things. My high school friends and Cassy are so absorbed with their drama and antics, I just can't stand them anymore. Another group of friends are going through a whole different round of things I couldn't possibly get in on for the sheer impossibility of it physically. My Amtgard friends are probably the closest thing I have to a really fun group, but they're seasonal. I just wish I had better friend making abilities outside of the anime/gaming community. even then there are so few females into those things around here it's hard. All the guys I try to be friends with usually want one thing, or avoid me out of shyness or not wanting their woman to be angered. It's frustrating! I just want to find a sensible girl, whack her over the head and make her be my friend...Though, I'm not nearly psychotic enough to do so.

I need female friends, or a gay one who lives nearby...that actually may be more doable. I hope to go on a search soon. Bleh...

Current Mood: aggravated
Monday, March 5th, 2007
11:19 am
I've been busy as usual. I just wanted to recount an eerie dream I had a few days ago.

It was a split dream, like a book with two main characters. The first was a young man and he had some weird puzzle box. To make things short he managed to open it by using some kind of numbered touch-screen code thing and a date appeared. March 5 19:19. Not sure the year or time zone, but it seemed very...Epic. More so because I NEVER think in Military time or bother to recount numbers in my dream, but these stuck. The second character didn't seem to be to important, but I had a linked dream the following night where the winds came to formed a giant bull with skin of water, blood of fire, and the power of wind and earth. The last two are my elements, so it was odd. The further fact that in some forms of Demonology the cast out angels that will aid in the end of the world were to hide in the elements.

Weird, eh? I've always had very life changing dreams. Like the one with the impish creature whom all I remember saying was 'Humans are only limited by themselves. It's quite a good thing they believe they're mortal.'. I've also managed to control my dreams to a ferocity. It's difficult because you usually wake when you realize that you're dreaming, but it's a manageable with practice. I literally told the grass in my dreams to be more defined, and it did. Then Spike from Buffy paid me a visit. It's all so odd.

My dreams have always been interwoven and out of the ordinary, but it's never been so predicting. I'm curious to see what today brings. If anything goes on I miss, do tell!

PS- My taste for old western music has been revived.

Current Mood: intriqued
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
4:05 pm
Ugh, work is insane. I had over 42 hours, and I'm part time, with school!

Anyhow, not much news. Toilet is messed up at the house, and may need to stay at Mom's place. The Gorilla gets out of jail soon. I'm really craving some kind of cream cheese stuffed waffles that I'm not exactly sure exist...

Oh, and here's Professor! I can't get any good pics with his outfit until I buy a digi cam, so bare with me.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Monday, February 19th, 2007
1:31 pm
Snow, and the lack of Angels.
It's been snowing really bad lately. I've had to use my precious sick days at work because there was really no way I'd make it in.

Things have been slow lately and I've been getting a chance to think about my life. There's really two major paths I can take, and I really don't want to make the sacrifices I need for either. I know everything requires some loss, but these are just too much. I have to choose between family and career, and I want both! I'm trying to think of a middle ground, but they all include either vast amounts of money or complete relocation. I've still got a little while, so I hope things will come into a clearer light soon.

I've got a crazy work week ahead of me, but my move to the Jewelry department is nice. I'm actually learning things I can take with me through life, and that's nicer than just dealing with random mounds of clothing. I taught myself how to resize those stretchy metal wrist bands on watches! I'm amazing!

Oh, and got the okay from Medicare to make my doctors appointments, thankfully I've got one year left of full coverage. I'm feeling better physically, but there's still a few anomalies I need figured out.

And one last thing, I'm PISSED about having all this snow, and actually being healthy enough to go sledding or some such and not doing it. I wont forgive Mr. Weather for the ridiculous amount of snow, ice, and freezing temps for a few seasons yet.

EDIT- Michelle, my favorites got deleted and I lost your blog AGAIN, forgive me?

Current Mood: devious
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
1:22 pm
I've mentioned before the weird luck of the women in my family. We all have breakdowns at the same time, whether we're actually happy or not, one person crying miles away sets us off. It's really insane how empathic we are to eachother.

Well, anyway, I mention this because of how insane the events of my life are. Take, for example, the reasons I haven't been online. The DSL modem wasn't working, so I called Tech Support. They told us we had to buy a new expensive one, so we canceled the net. I then call to set up an account at me and Perky's place in my name. We were TEN FEET outside their service area. Seriously, WTF?! Then, the other day, right before we buy the new modem, I hit the reset button on a whim and fix the goddamn thing.

Also, we had really bad weather the past few days, and I had to walk two miles in -16 F, icy snow weather to get to a phone just to call off work. It was a bad day. Good news though, my managers love me insanely and give me nearly any day off I want. Perky finally decided to find a new job, and I'm free to call OCEA (sp?) and the Better Business Bureau to shut their asses down.

Oh, and before I go, I've got some pretty bad news. My thyroid has decided to give out early, which means I'm really in the red, and I don't think I'll be having any babies. I'm going to the doctor to discuss options, but I'm really worried that they're just going to end up taking everything. I don't care if it takes a few years off my life, I just want to have at least one of my own. Well, wish me luck that things aren't too far gone for meds!

Oddly enough, the curse should make all these problems work out. Hell, my mom was suppose to be barren and look at all my siblings! XD

EDIT- I am a gaming master. That's all.
Friday, January 26th, 2007
6:30 pm
Silent Hill
A letter to my future self
Am I still happy? I began
Have I grown up pretty?
Is Daddy still a good man?
Am I still friends with Colleen?
I'm sure that I'm still laughing
Aren't I?
Aren't I?

Hey there to my future self
If you forget how to smile
I have this to tell you
Remember it once in a while
Ten years ago your past self
Prayed for your happiness
Please don't lose hope

Oh, oh what a pair, me and you
Put here to feel joy, not be blue
Sad times and bad times--see them through
Soon we will know if it's for real
What we both feel

Though I can't know for sure how things worked out for us
No matter how hard it gets, you have to realize
We weren't put on this earth to suffer and cry
We were made for being happy
So be happy--for me, for you

Oh, oh what a pair, me and you
Put here to feel joy, not be blue
Sad times and bad times--see them through
Soon we will know if it's for real
What we both feel

We were put here on this earth, put here to feel joy (x4)

-- Letter ~ From the Lost Days, from the Silent Hill Movie

It's such an amazing and creepy song. Everyone should go listen to it, or go watch Silent Hill. It comes on while they're driving on their way there.

Current Mood: aggravated
Monday, January 22nd, 2007
12:10 pm
Birthdays....and SUPERHEROES!!!!!
I'm low on time, so quick updates---

- My birthday was the 18th ...Where are all my best wishes, people?!

- Birthday sucked, but big bash this week to make up.

- Two random men who loved me cleaned my house.. for free... neither of whom are related or Perky.... (Yeah, I'm loved, bitches!)

- Comp just got fixed, woot!

- I'm trying out for 'Who Wants To Be A Superhero?!'.

- So, everyone should send messages to Sci-Fi after auditions to tell them how much they love me.

- Lastly, I'm contemplating voting for Hilary just because I'm tired of black men making it to the top before women. Sexist pigs.

-Bra burning time, ladies.


EDIT- I'm NOT racist people, I'm a feminist. Everyone makes such a big deal about racism, so I'm making a big deal about the sexists bastards who're voting. Everyone's seen a man run the US, but I want a woman to do it and put an end to the 'women can't handle the job' bullshit. Maybe most of you haven't heard it, but every man, and some women around here wont stop jabbering about 'overemotional' women.

Current Mood: tired
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